BIRTHDAY

1. Awake at 10am
2. Finish Tupac pillow


3.Obliging boy takes me out to coffee
(anticipated numbers, these have not yet come to pass)
4. I bake vegan cake
5. I stalk boy at Bloomingfoods (and buy myself kombucha)
6. I go out to Laughing Planet for lunch
7. I finish watching Return of the Jedi
8. I smoke a cigarette (because I have been able to do so for... seven years now? I do not take full advantage)
9. Is it 5:59 pm yet? I am officially 25.
10. I go out to dinner to Amol India
11. I see whatever bands are playing at The Bishop and drink beer
12. I sleep
13. I feel old

The Pope Wants You...

to Facebook?

What?

FOR SERIOUS

Today I really miss working here, with these guys:


and in my free time hanging out with this down ass bitch:


occasionally doing stuff like this:


hanging out with dogs:




with strange men sleeping on my futon, like, every single day:


getting really fucking tired of visiting the grand canyon:


enjoying dinners straight from the trash:


chewing tobacco with my family:


roadtrippin':



whore breakfasts:


even AmeriCorps:


One of the best years of my life, easily:

as I walk,well, its more like a retarded, headlong stumble... into the future.

Punks with Smartphones

I don't feel very strongly about things like this most of the time, but one thing that really bothers me is "punks" with fancy smartphones.
Way to make an anti-corporate, anti-capitalist gesture, man. Not only did you just spend 100+ dollars on a smartphone, but you are also going to pay $50 a month for a data plan? Or are your parents going to pay that for you?
punk + smartphone = yuppie, approximately
It is one thing to buy a smartphone, it is another to profess some beliefs and then take action directly opposed to them. How do you justify this? Are you going to tweet about the revolution? The latest protest? I've only seen you tweet about what you ate for breakfast.
Now you can enjoy Facebook and YouTube all day instead of having meaningful, genuine interactions with the world.

This is what you look like when you talk on your smartphone. Fuck you.

I had a dream last night that Robert Kirkman was my waiter at Steak N Shake.
I don't even go to Steak N Shake or know what Robert Kirkman looks like.

like most men in my dreams, he was slightly more attractive than he is in reality. But that's OK. What a cool dude. Once I also met Jim Jones in my dreams before I had seen what he looked like in real life.
I also once had a dream that B.I.G.'s dead body was in my bed and P.Diddy was there, sawing off his head.
I seem to get shot a lot in my dreams as well.
When I am working, I've been reading a lot of this: the essayist.
And making some pretty epic comics... more on that to come.

If you are uncool, like me, this will excite you!

The Oxford English Dictionary, the bible of the language enthusiast, will be available for free online with the username and password trynewoed until February 5th.

I'm Sorry!

Realllllllyyyyyy.

I wrote this too

I've always been a sucker for ladies and pianos, but I (thankfully) managed to swear off Tori Amos at the age of 16.

I have absolutely no motivation.
But I have to get out of here!
My to do lists are the same shit everyday.
But I'm hungry so I keep drinking coffee.
I need someone to keep me in line, because I just can't police myself.
Last night I dreamt of two dead dogs and one living one, a boy with a terrible haircut but familiar face, killer whales, dolphins, sharks and dumpstering a vegetable tray with some small children and then eating it behind an aquarium. In part of my dream a dolphin bit my big toe and would not release it, because it didn't want me to leave.
Maybe that was actually a nightmare.
a blog I read regularly randomly provided a linked to my Chris Clavin interview and a flattering description.
this describes my New Years Eve.