In light of certain circumstances- stressful relationships, drinking too much, heinous period aches and the fact that I slept four hours last night- I was a bit pissier than usual at work today. I have known for a long time that I am not entirely well suited to customer service, although my predisposition towards passive aggression serves me well in this industry because I can be extremely shitty to people, they pick up on it, and I don't even have to say one entirely rude comment.

This week I have been banned from choosing Pandora stations to listen to after offending customers and coworkers with the following stations: Heavy Metal, Summer Hits of the 90s, Rihanna, and Black Sabbath. This was a blow to my morale. In addition this geriatric asshole named Dick (short for Dickhead) hits on my like crazy, I had to plunge a toilet twice, and some guy called me a bitch for refusing to make him a frappe, like, two minutes before we were going to close.

Fuck you and your frappe.

Here's some etiquette for coffee shop patrons:

Don't even come in 10 or 15 minutes before close

If you must, don't order sandwiches, frappes, milkshakes, etc.

Just because you tip well does not mean you are owed conversation

Don't look at your barista's boobs

Leave hella good tips

Don't be a bastard, let the employees rock out to Anthrax, OK? Don't complain.