What Maureen Hates

A list of things Maureen hates and things Maureen loves found in an old notebook today:

"I HATE...
Sunny D (absolutely not delightful)
Itches that you can't scratch (inside itches)
When people don't answer the phone
When B coughs (man!)
When Theresa looks at me
When Tilly purrs
When Ruben meows (fucking wimp)
Hearing Theresa's sigh of relief when she passes water
When Matthew twirls his hair (j/k)
When Eric makes disgusted awkward faces
When Maggie and Theresa breathe (so!) hard into the phone- I can almost feel your hot breath!
The smell of fried fish at Martin's
Stale Cereal
When I don't know what else I hate

I LOVE...
Roughing up Tilly and she bites my face
Trashy reality T.V. shows
Capri Sun"

Post 'Querque Binge Eating

Today when I returned from Albuquerque I ate 2 containers of yogurt, a sandwich, a healthy amount of almonds, a Cadbury Cream Egg and a giant Hershey's Kiss that had melted at some point. During this process I may or may not have consumed a small amount of tin foil.
Albuquerque does not have a reputation for glamor. And, in honesty, most of what I saw was freeways, gas stations (which sell liquor, wtf?), the relatively shitty end of University Boulevard, and of course, the Hilton. However, riding on the city bus through downtown and into Old Town was a pleasure. Buildings slowly covered the mountainous landscapes, and suddenly, walking into old town, the buildings drop and you are surrounded by adobe walls, the peaks of the mountains still visible in the distance, stray cats, and the nicest Roman Catholic homeless people either.
In Old Town...
1. I danced with 5 relative strangers in a gazebo feigning drunkness while they exclaimed that we were employed by the government
2. I was blessed by a homeless (?) man in a very, very dark grotto tucked between businesses lit with candles.
3. Helped to capture a massive "New Mexican" moth
4. Fawned over a cat named Charlie

Upon my return from New Mexico I discovered that I am not as brave as I once was, because I was terrified for the entirety of the hour long flight. Doesn't it seem unnatural to be traveling at excessive speeds hundreds of miles above the earth? Asking for trouble.

Things to do by yourself in Prescott, Arizona

1. Start a blog
2. Hike the Peavine Trail
3. Frequent Home Depot until you convince yourself to plant a garden
4. Play the harmonica/bongo drums
5. Wander aimlessly
6. Go to church
7. Write postcards
8. See a $3 movie
9. Drink copious amounts of tea
10. Drink copious amounts of wine
11. Read... a lot
12. Hang up everything possible... including every pair of earrings you own
13. Play with your neighbors children
14. Talk to strangers
15. Shop
16. Write stories/poems/nonsense
17. Go to bed early
18. Begin to shower daily
19. Hunt javelina
20. Listen to your neighbors drum and chant late at night, hoping it doesn't give you weird dreams
21. Wait for your land lady to get to your apartment even though she said she would be here at noon and it is now 12:30

13 Things I've Observed or Done in Arizona

1. Everyone I've met in Arizona is not actually from Arizona, except for Mary Anne, the bartender from Yuma.
2. I have dined at several old people restaurants-- JB's and CoCo's-- the Honkers and Richard's of the West
3. The grocery stores here are Bashas, no Martin's or Kroger's or Marsh's
4. I've chewed tobacco and passed around a bottle of wine on the curb outside my house
5. My kitchen is painted yellow
6. My first night alone here I had a dream about Bob Dylan, he tried to climb a fence and hurt himself, went to the emergency room, when he came back to play the show I asked if I could hug him, he said yes, and then told me he loved me.
7. I took a personal tour of a haunted hotel.
8. People in Prescott are way nicer than people in Arizona.
9. There are equal proportions of hippies and retirees here.
10. I am going to foster a cat.
11. I almost had a nervy B when my family left me alone.
12. I got drunk on Whiskey Row
13. I will find a Javelina. This I promise.