Untitled?

I am reading In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust and The History of Sexuality by Michel Foucault at the same time!! I:

a). am extremely intellectual
b). am extremely pretentious
c). have no idea what's going on in either book

In an attempt to become more well rounded I have been reading the news every morning. Of seven news stories that I read today, two were about Harry Potter; one was titled "Beck Slammed for 'Horrific' Holocaust Remarks", I opened it because I thought it was singer-songwriter Beck, of course it was Glenn Beck; one was about an evangelical preacher and I didn't finish it; One was titled, "Why Are You Here?: A New Theory May Hold the Missing Piece," it did not tell me why I am here, as was hoped.

In other news, yesterday as I was updating my resume, I realized that I've been lying about my supposed proficiency in Excel for three or four years now. I've never even used it!

I would like to stop reading Foucault, so if anyone has some non-fiction they want to pass my way, it would be appreciated. Or, send me a piece of mail so I can get a library card.

Cryptic Notes I Left Myself on my Phone

1. The beauty of the retardation
2. 69 left on Center Ct. across from the theatre (where was I?)
3. On a road trip to adopt a dog found on the internet
4. Vanessa Davis (who is this?)
5. Finders keepers: a tale of archaeological plunder and obsession (I think this is a book)
6. Market and union st. One or two blocks from duke of gloucster st. Go left by the flags from duke of g st. back go opp direction (I clearly am very bad with both descriptions and directions)
7. tofu coffee creamer soy milk flax seeds tea
8. 578657
9. Bitches gotta eat

Did I Just Quote Paulo Coehlo?

I've been avoiding people that I have to explain the past five months of my life to. I just don't feel like telling the same story again.

I miss some people so badly I can hardly stand looking at pictures of them, for instance:



I've come to accept that if there is peanut butter near me, I will eat too much of it.



I asked someone for advice yesterday and he told me that when the same thing happened to him he laid on the floor for 24 hours straight.

when will I stop being such a creep?



I'm not very brave, despite what pictures might suggest

but I can't keep my hands off busts of Augustus! No matter what the signs say.

FESTIVE

"it was festive and delicious"

I meant to add to previous list:

6. Riding on THE BACK of a scooter



This sign is not posted on every street in Baltimore, it is just apparently necessary for my block. All my plans have gone out the window.



This is the romantic dinner I recently prepared all by myself, note the Texas Pete standing side by side with the bottle of wine



My friend and I were messing around, and this picture was taken as I was trying to grab my phone out of his hand. This is my combative face. Working on it is now on my 'to do' list. I was told it was "adorable and a tad slutty... so perfect!" -- direct quote from Shane Cinal



And this is Nino, who I am trying to replace Calvin with. We love each other, she's even started coming when I snap my fingers and clawing at my door when it is closed.

Funny How Things Are

There are plenty of things I've done in the past few days that I didn't think I'd ever do (or do again)...

1. Go to a renaissance festival
2. Sneak into a renaissance festival (to elaborate I followed a hippie into the woods, walked on logs across creeks, and laid on the forest floor in wait following army-like hand signals from him to 'get down' 'stay there' 'be quiet' or 'come on' all while dressed in odds and ends of clothes that I found in the backseat of my car)
3. Hang out with more wiggers (wiggas?) than I could possibly handle at one time
4. Drink super cheap red wine (I thought I finished with that shit in 2009)
5. Eat a whole container of hummus in one sitting... damn.

I found this posted on the side of the street over a pedestrian bridge:



Today I should have enjoyed my last day in Baltimore, but instead I packed.